We can be selfish people can’t we? We can get so focused and consumed with “me” that we do not pay any attention to the people around us. I think of a husband who is so wrapped up in his job or business. He works 60 plus hours trying to climb to the top or works hard to make his business successful. If you ask that husband if he loves his family, you will get an emphatic yes with a response like, “That’s why I am working so much” or “I am doing this for them”. The reality is he is not working long hours for his wife and children. The opposite actually is true; he is working long days for himself. I think of times when I saw someone pulled off to the side of the road and did not stop to see if they needed a hand or to make a phone call. I just wanted to get home and shave, get a shower, and relax. I think of the retail salesperson who is more interested in me walking out with a 50” plasma TV for $2,500 than he is about actually spending time to answer questions and give honest answers. I think of the car salesman who just wants to sell his next car that he’ll say anything.On ABC’s Primetime segment “What Would You Do?” we watch as many men and women walk by individuals in their time of need. We rationalize in our minds that we should not get involved in other people’s business. We allow fear to grip and paralyze us from taking some type of action. No matter what the situation we must use wisdom in dealing with it. However, we can do something can’t we? It is pure selfishness on our part if we see someone being abused in some way or hurting and not do anything about it. We can at least do something.
We can really be selfish. In fact, it is built within us. We have a selfish nature. We do not have to work at it; we are selfish by nature. Like a lion, bear, or shark are killers by nature; we are selfish by nature. If we just act normal, we will usually act selfish. Remember when we were kids? Everything was mine. We would throw some of the worse tantrums if we didn’t get our way. Maybe you have children or grandchildren right now who do these very things. Granted a baby should be selfish, but as we grow up that selfishness does not leave us. So really it is abnormal to be selfless. In other words, it is something that does not come natural. If we desire to do it more, then we must work at it.
How do we become less selfish and become more selfless? The simple answer to that is we think about the needs of others more. We pay more attention to what is going on in the lives of those around us and in our community. People by and large want to do the right thing and are generally good. I believe if more people were selfless it would change the face of our community, state, nation, and the world. Look at it this way, if you were in a desperate situation and needed another person’s assistance, how would it make you feel that somebody came to your rescue? If we want to be treated with respect and dignity, we should treat others the same. If we would like to be helped and cared for in the time of need, we should help and care for others in their time of need. Simply reminding ourselves to do to others what we want done to ourselves is a good start.
We must also rid ourselves of present “selfish” habits and start new ones. If I have the habit of not assisting my wife with the children, laundry, or the dishes then I can start building a new habit today by helping her with those things. If I have never taken the time to sit in the stands and watch my son play football or my daughter’s basketball game then I can change that and begin today to do so. How easy is it to change present habits? It is as easy as doing the opposite of what I have been doing. However, that is the challenge. It is easy to think about doing the opposite of what I have been doing, but actually doing it is the challenge. It is also easy to change a present habit for one day, but can you change it for 30 consecutive days? This is how present habits become a thing of the past.
Believe me, I am not saying that we should not accomplish and fulfill things for ourselves. Although, I am saying there should be a balance. I am also saying there is a better way to have that sense of fulfillment and accomplishment and that is through helping others. How awesome is it to put a smile on someone’s face that just a few moments ago were terribly sad? It makes you feel good inside to give a couple bucks to someone who could use a meal. It feels good to help an elderly person with their groceries. It’s fulfilling to help someone on the side of the road put a spare tire on. I have had the great privilege of visiting third world countries and while the poverty grabs your attention immediately it is so fulfilling to help them with food, medicines, clothes, construction, etc. I personally believe it is more rewarding to be selfless than selfish.
What are some other practical things we can do to meet the needs of others? We can volunteer in many places. We can volunteer at a church. We can volunteer at Habitat for Humanity and help build a home for a needy family. We can serve at the local soup kitchen and help feed the hungry. We can visit neighbors and see if there is something around their house they can use a hand with. We can volunteer at an abused women’s shelter or homeless shelter. We can get involved in charitable events that help the less fortunate. We can financially support organizations that are making a good difference in our community. With minimal thought we can think of many ways to help others.
What opportunities to help and serve others have you missed? How can you change that and take full advantage of those opportunities? What new habits do you desire to start? Write them down and begin practicing them today. Start with your family. How can you show your spouse and children you love them? Write down ways you can show love through action to your family. What volunteer opportunities are available in your community? Research and write down places where you can volunteer. Make plans to visit those places this week. Who can you lend a helping hand to in your neighborhood or at work? A true asset in this world is the individual who cares for the needs of others more than they do their own. It is very fulfilling and gives a great sense of accomplishment. It truly is better to give than to receive.
Josh Perez is a Personal and Professional Coach helping individuals set and achieve goals, make life changes, overcome procrastination, thought patterns, obstacles; discover life purpose, get out of a rut, and move forward. Visit www.morphcoaching.com for more information about personal and professional coaching.
