Monotone

Recasting Vision For Your Life

Who do you think of when you picture someone talking in monotone? I personally think of Ben Stein who did the Clear Eyes commercials a few years back. His voice remained at the same tone throughout the commercial. He did not show any excitement whatsoever in the product he was selling. He was just straightforward, to the point, and the commercial was over. Many people would probably describe him as boring. Now, I realize that is exactly what they wanted to accomplish in this commercial for whatever reason. However, the reality is that many people live their real lives this way. Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh was another one that talked in monotone and was not really excited about life. He made statements like, "When someone says, 'How do you do, just say that you didn't'" or "There are those who will wish you good morning. If it is a good morning, which I doubt", and even "And how are you?" said Winnie-the-Pooh. Eeyore shook his head from side to side. "Not very how," he said. "I don't seem to felt at all how for a long time." Eeyore could usually find something in anything to be disgruntled about.

What about you? How excited are you about life, career, marriage, relationships, finances, economy, religion, etc? We can hear so much negative from the news and radio stations that we get sucked up into it thinking our life and life itself is just plain old negative. It is amazing to me how human nature magnifies the negative so much. Something terrible happens in the United States and we have to broadcast it on every station for a whole week. We remember the mistakes, failures, and shortcomings of our spouse more than their strengths and victories. We say stuff like, "Man, it would be great if I got that promotion, but I probably wont". We count ourselves out without even trying.

We must be careful. Lacking in vision is not a good place to be at. What would be the purpose for living if you have no vision? People who have no vision can be angry and grumpy people. They are just mad at the world. Many people who did not have vision commit suicide. Do this exercise after you read it. Close your eyes tightly and answer this question. How awful would it be if you did not have your eyesight any longer? Go ahead and do it now. It is one thing to be born blind, but quite another thing to have your eyesight a good portion of your life and suddenly lose it totally. Some people would lose hope and could not live on any longer. Others would take on the challenge, learn this new way of life, and continue living. The same is true with vision for our life. Yes, there are many things that are negative around the world, but there are also positive things. The key is not to lose hope and continue having vision.

How do I do that? It starts with you becoming excited about life again. Next, what is your vision for your life? In other words, what would you like to see happen in your career or business, your marriage and children, finances, your relationship with God, friendships, your attitude, behavior, and lifestyle? Write that vision down. Write down exactly what you want to accomplish. Write down your goals for every area of your life you desire to work on. Do not speak in general terms about your goals; you must be specific. You can first write them down in general terms, but you must rewrite them afterwards in specific terms. In other words, having a better marriage or attitude is the general goal. Now, be more specific about what a better marriage or attitude looks like. How do you define your marriage being better? How do you define your attitude being better? What exactly do you need to do in order to achieve better? For more on how to set specific goals you can read my article Concrete Resolutions.

After you write the vision down you have to get it into your heart. Don't just write it down, place it in a folder, and put it away. Keep it before you all the time. Place it in different visible places so you can see it over and over. Some good places might be the refrigerator door, bathroom mirror, office, computer monitor, etc. You will get in down in your heart and become excited about it when you are constantly seeing and visualizing it. Visualize how good life will be once you accomplish that goal and fulfill that dream. Only those who have vision can really visualize.

Lastly, you need to share your vision with anyone and everyone. Share it with family, friends, co-workers, and church members. Some people may discourage you, but others will encourage you in this dream you have for yourself. It is also a form of accountability when you share your vision with others. They will ask how far along are you or how is it going? Another thing, on this road of accomplishing your goals people will come along side you who can help. They may help you with simple words of affirmation and encouragement. They may help with resources, instruction, and training. People cannot help if they do not know what you need help with. The fact of the matter is we all need help. It was never designed by God for us to do things by ourselves with no help from anyone. We need each other to fulfill the goals, dreams, and vision we have for our lives.

Monotone is boring and lacks excitement. Get your bullhorn out and begin to broadcast your vision. Don't allow anything or anyone to stop you. Aside from transferring the vision from your head to your heart; you have it written down so you can go back to it when life hits you with temporary setbacks or when people share discouraging words. Continue in the excitement and let the vision for your life be your motivation as well as people and life saying you cannot do it.

Concrete Resolutions

January is usually the month when people make resolutions for the new year they are about to embark on. We review and take account of what was done the previous year and what was not done; what we did accomplish or not accomplish. I believe it is absolutely a good thing to examine and take inventory of our life to see where we are, where we are going, and where we have been. There are things we will find that we do not like and things going on in our life that we do like.

However, I don't know that we should wait a whole year before we review our life. We should take inventory every couple of months. This will help us to stay aligned with goals we have set for ourselves. The review will show us how much or how little we have accomplished. It also gives us the opportunity to change and expand our goals. If we review our lives on a more consistent basis, we are more likely to remember the goals we have set and we will press on in achieving them.

Another thing I encourage people to do is to write down their goals. Let's face it, life happens and things we did not expect to take place sometimes do. Life is full of surprises. We can get so caught up with life happenning and get discouraged to the point we forget our goals and they soon become a thing of the past. Before we know it another year has gone by and we still have the same goals to accomplish that we have had for the past 3 years. How might you change that this year?

One of the reasons people do not succeed in their New Year's resolutions is that their goals are not concrete. We often speak in general terms. We say stuff like, "I want to look better", "I need to lose some weight", "I want to feel better about myself", "I want to have a better marriage", "I'd like to make more money", "I want to be a better person", and the general list goes on and on. We must get more specific about what "better" and "more" means. How much more and how much better would you be satisfied with? Our goals will usually start out in general terms, but then we must make them solid. We must attach arms and legs to them. How do we accomplish that? Simple, just be more specific about what it is you truly want. What do you really want to see happen with your marriage, relationship, friendships, finances, career, attitude, lifestyle, etc? What specificly is your heart revealing to you to change about any aspect of your life? Make your goal(s) as specific as you can. Be specific about what exactly you want, when you want to accomplish it, and how you will accomplish it.

For example, your general goal might be to lose some weight. How much weight would you be satisfied losing? When would you like to have that weight off? Remember, be specific, but also realistic. Now, a concrete goal for losing weight might look something like this. "My goal is to lose 50 lbs. in 6 months through exercise and a reformed eating regiment." Another example, your general goal might be to build a better marriage this year. What is "better" to you? That can mean communicating more, more romance, not yelling or fighting, respecting eachother, and the list can go on and on. Having a better marriage to you means something different for your friend desiring to create a better marriage. A concrete goal for a better marriage might look something like this. "My goal is to build a deeper intimate relationship with my wife by sitting down with her after work and listening to her share with me about her day 3 times a week for the entire year."

You can see why it is important to write your goals down. Specificity takes details and many times we do not remember details. Usually, we remember the general goal. Also, if you do not write it down, how will you know if and when you have accomplished the goal. A true concrete goal is one that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-specific. This is how you can tell a concrete goal from a general goal. Take your time and think about what goals you long to achieve this year. Write them down in general terms first. Then, write down exactly what you desire to accomplish and by when. You will be excited about the action plan you have come up with and you will have placed yourself on a good foundation of successfully accomplishing your resolutions for this year.


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Can You Believe It?

We are already embarking upon the fourth month of year 2007. Can you believe it? Where did the last 3 months go? Think about that for a moment; where did the last 3 months go for you? 3 months ago you set goals or made resolutions for 2007. It is now the fourth month of the year; have you at least begun on those goals or resolutions? If not, why not? Have you set yourself up for failure by simply not starting and forgetting about what resolutions you made? Why have you not moved forward toward achieving your goals? What are you afraid of? Have you been asking yourself the question, "what if I don't succeed"? What if you do succeed? What if you do accomplish the goal? What if you did achieve the resolution you made? What if you earned more money this year? What if you created a more intimate relationship with your spouse this year? What if you formed better relationships with your children this year? What if you started a business? What if you received the promotion? What if you met the person of your dreams? What if you went to college? What if you truly enjoyed life this year? What if you succeeded?

Don't sit around wondering and wasting more time. Success and prosperity is truly within your grasp. You have the ability to change your life, but it requires that you do something. You can make all the resolutions you want, but resolutions do not bring change. Attitude and action brings about change. It's already the fourth month; can you believe it? Well, it's no lie; it is already April 2007. Do not waste another day. What goals did you set for 2007? Remind yourself of what they were. Start going after them today. It is not enough to have desire. Put on the right attitude and put action to your desire. You can succeed!

The "P" Word

You guessed it, procrastination! Procrastination by definition is to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. It also means to put off intentionally and habitually. The Wikipedia states that procrastination is the deferment or avoidance of an action or task. "For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of productivity, the creation of crisis, and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments."

Why do we procrastinate? What resolution, goal, or dream did we set the beginning of the year, last year, or years gone by that is still yet to be fulfilled because of procrastination. I believe we procrastinate because we make excuses for not doing something. We procrastinate so we do not have to change since it takes effort to change things. We procrastinate for the very fact that effort itself requires energy, time, planning and we already live very busy lives. We also procrastinate because there is little to no motivation.

First, we must have vision. If we do not have vision or a dream we will go nowhere. We will remain stuck in the same daily routine day in and day out. Nobody can change that for you except for yourself. Get a vision for your life. Get a vision for bettering your life. Get a dream for living the life you desire. Second, stop making excuses for why you cannot have what you are dreaming of. Stop saying you do not have time or the finances. Look at your life and lifestyle and begin making the necessary changes to move you in the direction of having more time and finances. We all have needs, but a lot of things we have are "wants". Third, you must get a new attitude. It takes hard work, sweat, and tears to get what you want. It will not just fall on your lap one day. You have to go out and get it. You have to work for it. Lastly, you must be motivated in order to overcome procrastination with determination. The dream or goal may not be enough to motivate you, although it is a start. What affect will the dream or goal have on others when it is achieved? How might working toward the dream impact your life? Other motivations include people and situations. Allowing a negative situation or a negative speaking person to push you forward rather than discourage you can be good motivation.

I have found that most people usually need someone to walk the journey with them. We cannot nor should we try to do things alone. Have you ever thought of how dependent we are upon one another in order to accomplish our dreams? We are dependent on people in the present, past, and future. People in the past, whether it was our parents, grandparents, or others had to pave the way to open doors we are walking through today. The same is true in the present and the future. The fact is we need each other and we need to get used to it and embrace it. Some may also need the added benefit and motivation of a life coach who can help you stay on track to achieving your goals and dreams. You can visit http://www.morphcoaching.com/ for information about hiring a coach

Don't give up! Put the necessary measures in place to stay focused and motivated. Get procrastination out of your vocabulary and life and start accomplishing your dreams. What specific action will you take tomorrow to begin moving in the direction of fulfilling your dream?

The Easy Part

Have you ever noticed that the easy part to making changes in your life is the decision? Deciding to do something is the easy part. Putting that decision to action is a little tougher. Now, I am not saying it is impossible, but it is tougher. For example, you may know that exercise is good for you and so you make the decision to start exercising, but actually setting the time to start and begin exercising is another story. If only we could just make the decision and since we made the decision; we would automatically do what we decided. However, life does not work that way. We must make the decision and act on that decision. We may have a desire to achieve something, but until we put action to that desire; it will remain just that, a desire. This is why many people find themselves in ruts or at a stand still in certain areas of their life. They think because they have passion, desire, drive, heart, etc. they will just jump right in and accomplish what they decide, but there is more to it. You must act on your passion, desire, drive, heart, etc. I can decide to read a certain book, but until I pick up the book and begin to read it my decision is useless. I can decide to put applications in for a new job, but until I go out to possible job opportunities and fill out applications; nothing is going to happen. Do not get me wrong, making a decision is good. Having vision and dreaming dreams are good, but that is only the starting block. There is still a race to run if you want to be successful. The decision is the easy part; acting on that decision can be challenging, but it is very doable. Next time you make a decision to do something, set a date to begin or have it completed. Do not procrastinate or you might find it being one of your 2008 New Year's resolutions.

Life coaches help many people with this very issue. Coaching helps people pinpoint their goals, set practical steps to achieve them, and designate a time to have it completed. However, the biggest advantage to coaching is healthy accountability. Most people do not have accountability in their lives. A good push from a coach may be just what you need. If you would like more information on coaching for your professional or personal life, you can visit www.morphcoaching.com or call 239.438.8494.

Setting Goals

In order to properly set goals we must keep a few things in mind. Many times people do not achieve the goals they set simply because they are not clearly defined. Next time you set a goal, keep these five steps in mind. First, make sure the goal is specific to the point that you can describe it to people. Second, it needs to be measurable. You need to be able to know you have achieved it. Next, it must be attainable; a goal is not attainable if someone or something controls the outcome of it. We cannot change people and there are certain things in life we cannot change either. Next, it must be relevant; it must be something that compliments your beliefs and values. The goal must be relevant to your lifestyle. Lastly, the goal must be time specific. In order to properly set a goal, it must have a date attached to it. This is what you call a S.M.A.R.T. goal.

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time specific