Concrete Resolutions

January is usually the month when people make resolutions for the new year they are about to embark on. We review and take account of what was done the previous year and what was not done; what we did accomplish or not accomplish. I believe it is absolutely a good thing to examine and take inventory of our life to see where we are, where we are going, and where we have been. There are things we will find that we do not like and things going on in our life that we do like.

However, I don't know that we should wait a whole year before we review our life. We should take inventory every couple of months. This will help us to stay aligned with goals we have set for ourselves. The review will show us how much or how little we have accomplished. It also gives us the opportunity to change and expand our goals. If we review our lives on a more consistent basis, we are more likely to remember the goals we have set and we will press on in achieving them.

Another thing I encourage people to do is to write down their goals. Let's face it, life happens and things we did not expect to take place sometimes do. Life is full of surprises. We can get so caught up with life happenning and get discouraged to the point we forget our goals and they soon become a thing of the past. Before we know it another year has gone by and we still have the same goals to accomplish that we have had for the past 3 years. How might you change that this year?

One of the reasons people do not succeed in their New Year's resolutions is that their goals are not concrete. We often speak in general terms. We say stuff like, "I want to look better", "I need to lose some weight", "I want to feel better about myself", "I want to have a better marriage", "I'd like to make more money", "I want to be a better person", and the general list goes on and on. We must get more specific about what "better" and "more" means. How much more and how much better would you be satisfied with? Our goals will usually start out in general terms, but then we must make them solid. We must attach arms and legs to them. How do we accomplish that? Simple, just be more specific about what it is you truly want. What do you really want to see happen with your marriage, relationship, friendships, finances, career, attitude, lifestyle, etc? What specificly is your heart revealing to you to change about any aspect of your life? Make your goal(s) as specific as you can. Be specific about what exactly you want, when you want to accomplish it, and how you will accomplish it.

For example, your general goal might be to lose some weight. How much weight would you be satisfied losing? When would you like to have that weight off? Remember, be specific, but also realistic. Now, a concrete goal for losing weight might look something like this. "My goal is to lose 50 lbs. in 6 months through exercise and a reformed eating regiment." Another example, your general goal might be to build a better marriage this year. What is "better" to you? That can mean communicating more, more romance, not yelling or fighting, respecting eachother, and the list can go on and on. Having a better marriage to you means something different for your friend desiring to create a better marriage. A concrete goal for a better marriage might look something like this. "My goal is to build a deeper intimate relationship with my wife by sitting down with her after work and listening to her share with me about her day 3 times a week for the entire year."

You can see why it is important to write your goals down. Specificity takes details and many times we do not remember details. Usually, we remember the general goal. Also, if you do not write it down, how will you know if and when you have accomplished the goal. A true concrete goal is one that is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-specific. This is how you can tell a concrete goal from a general goal. Take your time and think about what goals you long to achieve this year. Write them down in general terms first. Then, write down exactly what you desire to accomplish and by when. You will be excited about the action plan you have come up with and you will have placed yourself on a good foundation of successfully accomplishing your resolutions for this year.


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What Do You Want?

What do you want to see happen in your life? Do you desire to be married? Would you like to go to college? Do you want to make more money? Would you like to have children? Do you want to make a career change? What do you want?

You need to answer that very simple, but complex question. It is a simple question to ask yourself, but it is complex in that the answer may not be as easy. The answer to that question may take some time and thought. It may take looking back at your life to see where you have been. You may need to look at what you are doing now and if you are being fulfilled. This is not a question to answer too quickly; it can cost you if you do and I am not just talking finances either.

After you have answered this question, it leads into another you must answer. Are you willing to put the necessary effort forth to get where you envision yourself being? Have you counted the cost? What will it cost you financially, relationally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually? Are you willing to pay the price to get to your desired destination? It is never an easy road. There will be challenges, surprises, and temptations. The challenges you may face probably will cause you to think it is just too hard to continue, so you might as well throw in the towel. The surprises may frustrate you to the point you want to scream. The temptation to cut corners may constantly confront you to the end that you give into it. Are you willing to work hard and work through to go where you want to be?

The diligent count the cost beforehand and move full steam ahead. The slacker does not and so he/she tries to find easier ways to get where they want to be. Don't be discouraged at the long road in front of you. The end goal may be far away, but enjoy the journey and celebrate the mini goals or steps achieved as you keep moving toward the end goal. Use these small victories to motivate you to keep going. When you have some victories under your belt, look back and see how far you have come. You can have what you dream of having in life if you go about it properly. Pursue what you want!

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What's The Pay Off?

What is robbing you of your joy? What is causing harm to you rather than benefiting you? If it is not benefiting you and those around you, then it is taking away from you. What is bringing frustration to your life? It could be something as easy as your attitude or it could be something tougher like a deep rooted pain or hurt you experienced years ago, but never dealt with. If it is a deep rooted issue that troubles you today, allow me to suggest that you pick up the phone and call a counselor who can help you get passed that. Maybe you are not dealing with a deep rooted issue. What is it then that is not benefiting your life? Could it be drugs, alcohol, or gambling? Could it be hatred, anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness? I encourage you to be honest with yourself right now and examine your life. You know exactly what is and what is not benefiting your life. You do not need someone to tell you. How is that particular thing robbing from you? What affect does it have on your spouse, family, friends, and co-workers? How is it distancing others from you? How is it affecting your life? What kind of momentary benefit does it bring to you and is it worth the price you pay? Be honest with yourself; forget everyone else and just examine yourself.

The good thing is, it doesn't matter whether it is an addiction, an attitude, or a certain way of living; we can change it. It may require we get outside assistance. It may simply be something we recognize that is affecting us negatively and applying the positive opposite would change it for the better. One thing is very clear, it will take work. It will take work in the sense of practicing the new behavior or lifestyle change. Think of how long you have been doing that particular thing that has not brought benefit to your life; it is ingrained in you to do it that way. You must practice a new habit everyday for at least 30 days and probably longer before it becomes a regular part of your day to day life. It must become a habit and it takes time and effort to build a habit.

First things first, pinpoint exactly what is taking away or not benefiting you. Next, place a new habit in place of this old habit. Thirdly, practice this new habit every chance you get. Now, there will be times you will revert back to your old ways; it is not the end of the world. Whatever you do, do not make excuses for it or try to justify it. Simply see how you arrived there, so you can see what exactly triggered you reverting back to your old way. It may be a friend that you can no longer associate yourself with or it may be a place you can no longer go to. It may be people that trigger a certain attitude. If that is the case, you have got to change your attitude and not necessarily the people. In other words, if you find yourself getting easily angered or frustrated with people or circumstances, then you need to acknowledge that is something you do and change it. You change it by first acknowledging it as something you do not desire to do any longer. Then, when the time comes that you feel it coming on, suppress it and exchange it for a better attitude. Know what kind of attitude you want to exchange it for in advance or else this will not work.

Again, the bottom line is that it will take work in order to bring the necessary changes we desire to our lives. We must practice the new way of living, new attitude, new outlook, and new way of conducting ourselves. It will take some time, but it will be well worth it. Think about it, you can remain like you are or you can make life better for yourself and those around you. You can remain like you are and keep allowing that particular thing to keep taking away from you or you can change it. The change is worth it if it brings benefit and enjoyment of life to you and others around you.

Let's not give up; we all have weaknesses that we need to tend to and work on. We can all better ourselves and in bettering ourselves, we make it easier for others we come in contact with and we can even make this world a better place.

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Be All You Can Be

Why do we limit ourselves? We often look at other people and wish we had what they have or was gifted as they are. We wish we had the talents and skills other people possess that we do not. Have you ever thought about what skills and talents are? It becomes a skill or a talent to an individual, because they have practiced and worked countless hours to make it a skill or talent. Sure, some people are naturally gifted; this does not mean they do not ever have to practice or put forth effort to further learn their skill. We often see a person who is gifted, talented, or skilled and we envy their ability to do a particular thing or things very well. We rarely think about what it took to get them there. They did not just arrive where they are with the skill or ability they have. We did not see them go to school for their ability. We did not see them read many books about their skill. We did not see the many hours they put forth in practice to become better talented. No, all we see is a polished product. This can be very deceiving if we only look at where the person is now and do not look at how they got to where they presently are.

You must realize you can be and do whatever you are willing to work for. Those who are diligent, determined, and motivated to work toward learning a particular skill or skills are the ones others wish they could be. You can learn whatever skill, talent, and ability you want. Remember, they can be learned. Are you willing to spend countless hours practicing or learning? Are you willing to go back to school or to seminars? Are you willing to work hard? It is going to take more than desire for you to be all you can be. You must put action to your desire. Don't settle for mediocrity; be all you desire to be.

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Are You Living Your True Self?

Many people today are not living their true self. Many people believe certain things about themselves, but it rarely shows up in their actions. Between beliefs and actions are a person's values. What do you value? If you truly value it, then it will show up in your actions. You may say you value something, but that does not mean you do. Values have little to do with talk, but everything to do with walk. For example, you may say you value your car, but if you never wash it or take it in to the auto mechanic for maintenance, then you do not truly value your car. You may say you value your spouse, but if you do not spend quality time with them you do not value them. You are only fooling yourself. Values are your core beliefs and they show up in your actions. You will live out what you value.

Be honest with yourself; are you really living your true self? If not, what are you going to do about it? Do you get frustrated and angry easy? This could be because you are not living out your desired values. After examining yourself you may realize you have some values you do not particularly like. The good news is you can change your values. Remember, values deal with how you act and you can change how you act. In other words, if you thought you valued honesty, but after inspecting yourself you see dishonesty actually shows up more often than you would like; you can change that. The first step to change is being honest about what your values are right now. Identify the ones that you do not want to be a part of your life. One way you can identify present values is by looking at what things, people, and places are most important in your life right now. Then ask yourself what benefits these things, people, and places bring to your life. What benefit do you receive from them? The things you value will show up more than once. Another way to see what your values are is simply by realizing what values are expressed in your daily life. You can also ask family members or close friends to tell you what they believe you value. They know you best and have seen your life up close and personal. Identifying your values is not too tough, but making the changes you want will be the challenging part. My suggestion would be to find a close friend or family member who can help hold you accountable to the changes you desire to make. If you do not have someone that can fulfill the role, you might consider hiring a life coach. A life coach's specialty is getting an individual from where they presently are to where they desire to be. You can visit www.morphcoaching.com for more information about coaching.

Remember, you have the power to change your values. Don't waste another moment being frustrated, angry, or sorrowful. Begin changing your values from what they are to what you desire them to be. When you are living your true self you enjoy life more. You look forward to life more because you will surround yourself with people, places, and things that help you express your values. Start on your journey to living your true self today!

Can You Believe It?

We are already embarking upon the fourth month of year 2007. Can you believe it? Where did the last 3 months go? Think about that for a moment; where did the last 3 months go for you? 3 months ago you set goals or made resolutions for 2007. It is now the fourth month of the year; have you at least begun on those goals or resolutions? If not, why not? Have you set yourself up for failure by simply not starting and forgetting about what resolutions you made? Why have you not moved forward toward achieving your goals? What are you afraid of? Have you been asking yourself the question, "what if I don't succeed"? What if you do succeed? What if you do accomplish the goal? What if you did achieve the resolution you made? What if you earned more money this year? What if you created a more intimate relationship with your spouse this year? What if you formed better relationships with your children this year? What if you started a business? What if you received the promotion? What if you met the person of your dreams? What if you went to college? What if you truly enjoyed life this year? What if you succeeded?

Don't sit around wondering and wasting more time. Success and prosperity is truly within your grasp. You have the ability to change your life, but it requires that you do something. You can make all the resolutions you want, but resolutions do not bring change. Attitude and action brings about change. It's already the fourth month; can you believe it? Well, it's no lie; it is already April 2007. Do not waste another day. What goals did you set for 2007? Remind yourself of what they were. Start going after them today. It is not enough to have desire. Put on the right attitude and put action to your desire. You can succeed!

The "P" Word

You guessed it, procrastination! Procrastination by definition is to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. It also means to put off intentionally and habitually. The Wikipedia states that procrastination is the deferment or avoidance of an action or task. "For the person procrastinating this may result in stress, a sense of guilt, the loss of productivity, the creation of crisis, and the disapproval of others for not fulfilling one's responsibilities or commitments."

Why do we procrastinate? What resolution, goal, or dream did we set the beginning of the year, last year, or years gone by that is still yet to be fulfilled because of procrastination. I believe we procrastinate because we make excuses for not doing something. We procrastinate so we do not have to change since it takes effort to change things. We procrastinate for the very fact that effort itself requires energy, time, planning and we already live very busy lives. We also procrastinate because there is little to no motivation.

First, we must have vision. If we do not have vision or a dream we will go nowhere. We will remain stuck in the same daily routine day in and day out. Nobody can change that for you except for yourself. Get a vision for your life. Get a vision for bettering your life. Get a dream for living the life you desire. Second, stop making excuses for why you cannot have what you are dreaming of. Stop saying you do not have time or the finances. Look at your life and lifestyle and begin making the necessary changes to move you in the direction of having more time and finances. We all have needs, but a lot of things we have are "wants". Third, you must get a new attitude. It takes hard work, sweat, and tears to get what you want. It will not just fall on your lap one day. You have to go out and get it. You have to work for it. Lastly, you must be motivated in order to overcome procrastination with determination. The dream or goal may not be enough to motivate you, although it is a start. What affect will the dream or goal have on others when it is achieved? How might working toward the dream impact your life? Other motivations include people and situations. Allowing a negative situation or a negative speaking person to push you forward rather than discourage you can be good motivation.

I have found that most people usually need someone to walk the journey with them. We cannot nor should we try to do things alone. Have you ever thought of how dependent we are upon one another in order to accomplish our dreams? We are dependent on people in the present, past, and future. People in the past, whether it was our parents, grandparents, or others had to pave the way to open doors we are walking through today. The same is true in the present and the future. The fact is we need each other and we need to get used to it and embrace it. Some may also need the added benefit and motivation of a life coach who can help you stay on track to achieving your goals and dreams. You can visit http://www.morphcoaching.com/ for information about hiring a coach

Don't give up! Put the necessary measures in place to stay focused and motivated. Get procrastination out of your vocabulary and life and start accomplishing your dreams. What specific action will you take tomorrow to begin moving in the direction of fulfilling your dream?